So I suppose I'm back to semi-regular activity here...I've spent the past four months rendering and rerendering and getting caught up with new creations which sort of hinders the rendering of old pieces and and and and and...

(gotta catch my breath before I hyperventilate)

I got my new PC (customized Dell Inspiron 530s) so it's all easier now.

I can have Ultra Fractal and Apophysis open at the same time. I can have them rendering something large at the same time. I can have music on during rendering. I can even upload large images while everything else is going on. Why is this awesome? because on my old PC I couldn't render anything beyond 900x600 with Apophysis and Ultra Fractal made it freeze, restart or just plain shut off more often than not, even if it was the only thing open. I'm fairly sure it caught a virus that ate its memory mercilessly because that wasn't always the case. I'm just glad it's not totally dead yet because I'm still retrieving files from it.

Anywho, I'm getting caught up, which is nice. Photoshop no longer takes ten minutes just to open and my renders are getting finished with a good deal of regularity. Also, my husband has finally figured out our router so we can use the internet at the same time if so inclined.

I shan't be flooding your watchboxes with lots of deviations, just a few at a time (reason being that I still have a long ways to go with my Apo renders) but I really just wanted to let you know that I'm still alive, still lurking about.

Another bizarre, aggravating phenomena has hit my account here - this one goes beyond the annoying disappearing faves. At least that one wasn't a mystery...

This one is though. Why am I down to watching only one person? I'm really, really, REALLY hoping that this is just a temporary dA bug and that the issue will be resolved soon and I won't have to go hunt down everyone on my Watch List...it was huge.

Needless to say, I'm frustrated.

Contains swearing. Consider yourself forewarned.

I've been sick. The kids have all been sick. The husband has been sick. Why is it, then, that whateverthefuckitwas held on to me an extra two weeks?

Just wondering.



In better news, I won the IFDDID contest! Big thank-yous to everyone who voted for me and congratulations to all the other winners, too!

***I got tagged by =TwilightAmbiance. I'll get you back...somehow...I swear. ***

So this is supposed to be eight interesting facts. Let's see...

1. I'm decent at cooking but dangerous with the cookware. I usually have some minor incident at least once a week. My right arm and hand are covered with bizarrely shaped scars. Unstable glassware, professional-grade knives, oven racks, baking trays, tongs, griddles, colanders, skillets, stock pots and most recently toaster ovens have all been involved. I don't really seem to learn from my mistakes, either.

2. I know bits and pieces of several languages - German, French, Japanese and a wee touch of Russian. By itself, not so strange. The odd thing is that I think in them, too and I have to remind myself not to speak or type in them 'cause I don't want to seem pretentious.

3. I have four kids. That said, I can't stand most other children. I'm an only child. I babysat once when I was ten and then never again. I didn't change a diaper until I actually had a baby of my own.

4. I love to sing and am alright at it but I lack self-confidence and claim to be tone-deaf to everyone, including my husband. I even get nervous singing lullabies to the kids.

5. I'm really particular about spelling and the proper use of punctuation, especially the apostophe. The comma annoys me for some reason, though, which is why I use the ellipsis (...) whenever I can get away with it. I'm also too lazy to use html double spacing here on deviantART.

6. Most sports don't excite me but I love oddball competitions such as the World Strongman one, Ninja Warrior and the ones shown on Food Network. The only real sports I like are hockey, rugby and I watch the Olympics without fail every two years. I'm also pretty good at Tiger Woods Golf 2005 on the XBox for some reason.

7. I love our car to the point where I hope we never have to junk it even though I don't have a driver's license (not for any other reason than my husband is lazy about teaching me the finer points of driving.) It's a 1989 white Mercury Grand Marquis with a grey cloth interior that happens to be just about the most comfortable thing I've ever sat upon. It growls when it runs and it's just the most gorgeous piece of machinery...

8. We keep a driver (as in the golf club) in the car. We found it in the trunk of our Cadillac - which lasted us all of a month or two. The driver now inhabits the Mercury for no other reason than a car seems to have been its natural habitat and far be it from us to change that.

***Don't read this jounal if you're easily offended 'cause if you bitch at me over these I will have a good laugh at your expense.***

***Sorry Lis, no YouTube content.***



A guy walks into a bar and walks over to a beautiful woman. She says, "I want you to make me feel like a real woman." He takes off his coat and says, "I need this ironed."



This guy Bob walks in to a restaurant, sits down and waits to be served. The waiter comes over and asks "What will you have tonight sir?" Bob says "I'll have a bowl of chili." The waiter says "I'm sorry, sir, but that man over there got the last bowl." pointing to a man gathering his things to leave. The man hadn't even touched the chili and he's getting up to leave and Bob turns to him and asks "Are you going to finish that?" the man says no and sits back down. Bob starts to eat the chili and gets about half way done when he finds 3/4 of a dead rat in the chili. Bob then vomits in to the bowl. The man who gave him the bowl turns to him and says “Yeah, that’s about how far I got too.”



This guy walks in to a bar and says to the barkeep, "All lawyers are jerks!" This other guy at the end of the bar says, "I take offense to that!" The first guy says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" The second guy says, "No, I'm a jerk!"



A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by saying only polite words, playing soft music and doing anything else he could think of to clean up the bird's vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"



A very demure young lady brought home her brand new female parrot and rapidly discovered to her dismay that the bird would often say "I'm a hooker!" very loudly. The young lady turned to the parish priest for guidance. The priest told her of his own two male parrots that he had trained to remain in prayer most of the day. Perhaps her parrot could be taught the same by housing her with his two. When the lady placed her female parrot into the cage of the priest's male parrots, the female parrot squawked her usual "I'm a hooker!" One of the male birds looked at the other and said, "Look lively, Jocko, our prayers have been answered!"



A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma,"Where is mom and dad?" and she replied, "They're up in bed."The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play.Then he came in for lunch and asked his grandma,"Where's mom and dad?" and she replied They are still in bed." Again he started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went back out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma, "Where's mom and dad?" and his grandma replied,"They're still up in bed." The little boy started to laugh and his grandma asked "What gives? Everytime I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! What is going on here?" The little boy replied, "Well, last night dad came into my bedroom asked me for the vaseline and I gave him Super Glue."



Joe was a successful lawyer, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches.

When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem.

"The good news is I can cure your headaches...The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine, and the
pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need - a new suit."

He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see ... size 44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeve and 16 and a half neck."

Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"

Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9-1/2 E."

Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"Been in the business 60 years!"

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"

Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure."

The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."